Once upon exactly 10 years ago I called up my mate Buddy and told him to get to Morocco instantly to test out a new stupid idea. As soon as he sweated his way to meet me, for some reason wearing a thick wool suit – I pointed his eyeballs at the greatest 2 wheeled wonder mankind has ever seen. The Monkey Bike. Designed for children in the 1970’s it’s quite, by accident, almost the ultimate adventure making meat grinder.

I probably should have given him some warning because his motorcycle skills are less developed than his ability to ride a 10ft unicycle whilst playing bagpipes. He crashed before we had covered 15cm.

As soon as my arse cheeks hit plether on a Moroccan dirt track it was like all the unholy Gods of adventure poked me in the eye with the stick of obviousness – we absolutely had to unleash the Monkey Run on the people of the earth. So we did.

What unfurled became the now incredibly mighty Monkey Run. And all of a sudden it’s 10 years old. If it was an actual monkey we’d be almost dead. But thank fuck we’re just intellectual monkeys because the Run is aliverer than ever.

Actually, the beast will be 10 in January 2025. I got a bit excited about that and decided we should celebrate this moment by sharing the Run with more people than ever with a Party Party Party £250 discount and by designing a special 10 years of Monkey Cocktail. And while we’ve not got round to the cocktail yet we are hereby announcing the discount.

So stop being ridiculous and sign up right now to join me at the finish line to toast your adventures with the soon-to-be-created Monkey Run Cocktail of Mirth.

Party Party Party 10 year Discount – £250 off January

Since we’re getting all weepy and nostalgic we thought we’d look back and crunch the numerical quantities up of all that frankly fucking marvellous chaos. So here it is. 10 years of Monkey Run in pointless and dubious numerical specificity…

• Kilometres ridden – 1.39 million that’s 3.6 times to the moon. What’s Nasa doing with there rockets?
• No of Punctures – 1740
• Drones confiscated – 17
• Weight of tagines consumed – 4263 kg
• Beers drank – 98,340
• Camels married – 1

So if for some stupid reason you haven’t already done the Monkey Run then now is the most perfect time for an entire decade.

Join us for cocktails in January

Because nobody wants to listen to me waffling away in semi coherent verbosity, here are some words from the mouths of other humans who drank from the Moroccan monkey cup…

• “Whoever came up with the idea of travelling around Morocco on an asthmatic strimmer was a complete idiot. It’s fucking ridiculous. And brilliant.” – Charlie Gough, January 2020
• “We were born too late to explore the earth & too soon to explore the galaxy, So the only purpose of you being alive right now is to ride kid’s toys across the Sahara desert…”-Schuyler Lifschultz, January 2023
• “The best thing you can do for yourself and other functionally brain-damaged mates. Spills, chills and panty-staining adventures. Get a tattoo, because when your family dumps you in the old folks home, no one will believe you did it! “- Kate Hagstrom, January 2023
• “Best thing you will ever do to find out what you’re made of “- Yannick Mermet, January 2020
• “I hired a man with a horse to help me find the pre-run beers and the fucking thing tried to kill me…” – Mike Elhard, January 2023