The Art of Strap-Ons – Monkey Run Luggage Racks
Get your mind out of the gutter, you filthy crotchwomble. We’re talking luggage racks here.
Let that grimy brain wander deep into the Moroccan desert. You’re perched on a child-sized proto-Moto that’s spewing sand out of its arse. Suddenly – clink, clank, whump– you hear the sound of your hopes, dreams and worldly possessions scattering across the Saharan dunes. If only you’d had the foresight to go all-in on that luggage rack. Maybe your precious gear wouldn’t be marinating in the sand with a healthy dose of shame.
Our Monkey Run legends have nailed the art of the luggage rack, showing off their ingenuity, creativity, and idiocy across the globe – from the vast Mongolian steppe to the dusty backroads of Morocco, and deep into the Peruvian jungle. Somehow turning the monkey bike into an even more ludicrously marvellous adventure machine.
Here’s a list of the finest luggage racks to have ever graced the Monkey Run:
The Shove-It Mongolia
Thomas Woodray, The Bonglians – Monkey Run Mongolia September 2024
Unlike the helmet, which resembles a nightclub toilet bowl after a confetti dinner, this luggage rack screams practicality. What could a monkey bike need more than an even tinier set of wheels? The Bongolians anticipated they’d blast their biscuits into a ditch, so they added a skateboard escape plan—perfect for kick-flipping your turbo toy into a Mongolian ditch.
The Ghengis Deluxe
Alfredo Fontani, Motoninnoli – Monkey Bike Mongolia September 2023
More lumberjack than luggage rack, this design by Alfredo boasts impressive spikes that could double as triceratops porn. It’s rugged, dangerous, and a little naughty—perfect.
We’re sure Mongolian macho murderer Ghengis is watching like a proud dad, picturing all the human entrails you could dangle from this ancient war weapon. Don’t tailgate Alfredo unless you fancy becoming a wilderness kebab.
The Dinner and a Show
Bryan Titus, Titus & Dosa Kim, EXPM Kangsters – Monkey Run Peru September 2023
You’ve dragged your lump of metal awesomeness up an Andean mountain. There’s a view that would make Ansel Adams fly to Japan and eat the headquarters of Canon brick by brick. If only you had a way to enjoy the view with a meal.
Well, for teams Titus and EXPM Kangsters, just flip your luggage rack and a Michelin-star dining experience is yours. Don’t worry; you’ll be back to hopelessly lost, drinking handfuls of rainwater in no time.
The School Run Special
Charlie (William) Raper, The Gang Of Good Hope – Monkey Run Mongolia September 2024
Everyone knows kids are a nightmare. They make Freddy Krueger wake up in a bed full of piss. We, therefore, absolutely encourage everyone to abandon their families and burble across the Mongolian steppe for a week. But maybe you’re different. Like Charlie, you want to replicate the feeling of a crying midget strapped to your back as you cycle them to school. If so, the plastic baby chair is all you need. Let your luggage squat in it, chafing your back until you’re bloody and raw—it’ll remind you of the kids in no time.
The Thirty-Minutes or Less
James Snell, The Adventurers Club – Monkey Run Mongolia July 2023
James here gets maximum points for being as practical as a slippery gibbon trying to pilot an aeroplane. If you’re transporting three pizzas, then sure. For anything else, this is as useful as a concrete parachute. For pure fuckwittery, The Adventurers Club almost cannot be matched. You know the phrase: “It’s so crazy it might just work”? That does not apply here.
The Flush of Adventure
James Lambert, Big Rigs, Small Bikes, Monkey Run Morocco October 2023
The first of two toilet racks, this one is from James Lambert of Big Rigs, Small Bikes. It’s semi-practical except for the colossal fuck-off hole in the centre. Does James know the toilet lets things drop through it? It’s almost its sole function. Well, if he didn’t before, he’ll learn it the hard way when he finds his shit strewn across the Sahara.
The ‘Throw the Kitchen Sink at it.’
Troy Lupton-Smith, Big Rigs, Small Bikes, Monkey Run Morocco October 2023
The Big Rigs, Small Bike boys steal another slot in our list. Sometimes, you need a place to wash off dirt, sweat, and questionable life choices. Although we wonder if Big Rigs, Small Bikes is just an undercover house clearance firm, we’ve got to respect it. Adventure is messier than shredding a blancmange with a tennis racket. But it doesn’t have to be. Just ask Troy.
As you can see from picture two, he clearly drives like a wonky pelican and doesn’t deserve nice things.
The Best in Show
Igor Preciso, Gabriel Fraige, José Ricardo Souza Jr & Gabriel Kokkinos, Not Normal Club – Monkey Run Peru April 2024
The Not Normal Club definitely lives up to its name with this rack design. Our second toilet takes the highest award for innovation and photogenic-ness. Igor, Jose, and the Gabriels (x2) solved the massive fuck-off hole situation like a couple of demented beavers by sticking a chunk of wood in it. Less throne functionality, but more luggage-friendly. Then they topped it off with brain-blisteringly wonderful photos. Truly, a throne fit for a king, albeit a very small one.
For your chance to excel in the art of strap-ons get yourself on a Monkey Run.